Thursday, February 10, 2011

Stones

You have received a stone.

Here is the story that goes with your stone.

I was nearing the end of a long term rehab center. I had finished the core program and with 2 weeks left I was in what they called reintegration. Reintegration was a time for a client to plan an exit strategy, housing, schooling, basically planning the next stage of their recovery. I had been, by Gods grace planning to move back home with Vikki and my boys after about a year apart. She was ready to try and make a go of it as she saw my dedication in my recovery, to my family and completion of the treatment center.

At about the same time I finished the core program, this 32 year old mix martial arts fighter named Jason from Winnipeg joined the treatment center. This guy looked tough and I took an immediate liking to him. We would talk about our lives and what got us into trouble. He said he used to be an addiction counselor at a Christian rehab center called Teen Challenge. His girl friend, best friend and now fiancĂ© for 5 years was t-boned by a drunk driver and lost her life. He said he couldn’t handle the pain and started drinking, got fired from his job and was running from his pain. He wound up in Ottawa hitting rock bottom.

I had a lot of spare time in reintegration and had put in a request to spend weekends at our home in Orleans to help out with the kids and to work on re-entering married life. I thought it a reasonable request because there was no program, limited staff and not many of the other clients were around on weekends. The answer was no. I could go every 2nd weekend. I argued my case but it fell on deaf ears. The next weekend came and full of resentment and the knowledge that I would never get caught and that no one really cared if I went home, I hopped on a bus. The next week on Tuesday night I was called into the office and asked if I had slept out at home, shocked, I lied and straight faced said ‘no, of course not.’ They let me go. I went down to the TV room where I started to vent, basically letting anyone know that I would punch out who ever ratted me out. Apparently the guy that told on me was there and went up to the office and let them know he was scared and that I was intimidating people. I was immediately asked to leave for intimidation. I was shaken, mad, hurt and fear of failure rushed in. I packed my bags, called Vikki and she agreed to let me still move back home.

While I was in the kitchen, waiting for my ride, Jason asked if he could talk to me. I said sure. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stone and placed it in my hand. He told me a story about his fiancé when she was alive. Like any couple they would get into arguments. He said that in the bible it says that if we have no sin or have never done any thing wrong then we could throw stones at others. He said that they were planning on using this concept in their wedding vows and had given each other small stones as a symbol of their vow not to throw stones at each other. He said he wanted me to have the stone she had given him. Tears poured down my face as the emotion of getting kicked out and being given this gift hit me.

Jesus never sinned. Jesus never hurt any one. Jesus never defended himself. As I write this I cry because this is what love is all about. If only we could all put down our rocks, let God defend us and love one another as ourselves. The world, our cities, our marriages and our lives would be much better.

Love Jon Ruby

In honor of Doug.