My Life and my WILL

I got out of a drug and alcohol rehab center about 6 years ago. In a short time I gave my life to Jesus Christ. It wasn't mine any more and for me it was an easy concept to understand as my way didn't work!!! My will or what I call my soul, where Ive operated from for most of my life was a different battle. My soul includes my mind, will and emotions. Meaning, I do what I want, when I want, as often as I want and it better make me feel good!! You probably know someone like that.  Once I was out of treatment, I almost immediately started work driving heavy equipment. One day as I arrived at work the yard was shut down due to an excess of rain. I stopped in at my parent’s house and my dad was home so we had breakfast and watched a teaching video. The man explained Matthew 6:33, about seeking God first and having God supply all other needs. Huh, I thought. I pretty much did most of my life backwards so maybe this guy is right. I challenged God: You got me sober; no one else could do that, how about you get me a job. That day I quit my job as a heavy equipment operator and began to seek God first.

I went anywhere God was. I kept busier than when I was working. I went to every bible study, prayer meeting, A.A. meeting; anywhere and anything that I could learn or serve at. I never asked or looked for a job. I was testing God and was sure he didn’t need my help. Six months went by. We made trips to the local food bank, we found groceries on our front step and there was always gas in the car. It was humbling, but all our needs were met.

One day after a bible study at a housing ministry for mentally ill men, the director asked me if I would like a job working at one of the houses. I felt God say “this is the job I got for you”. I had tears in my eyes as I answered yes.

My first year working at Jericho Road, I provided supervision at a care home for men who struggle with mental illness. That job taught me to love unconditionally and built the foundation for my service to God now. I love helping people and passing on what God is teaching me, and I know this job helps me more than it helps them. 5 years later and still working on surrendering my will on a daily biases, I direct a 12 bed, addiction treatment program. The bible tells me to be spirit led. That is my battle daily. Surrendering to Gods will and not mine. When I do, God can work thru me. Join with me in this battle and God will use you in ways you would never imagine. "Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God"

THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

THE BIRD

During some recent time off I remembered a lesson God had shown me when I was new into ministry. I was working nights at the mentally ill care home and had lots of free time in the day. In the day I hung out and learned from a certain Calvary pastor from Florida. We had a noon bible study in a park across from the court house in downtown Ottawa. On this particular week our pastor was going away and had asked me to lead the bible study. I arrived early and was waiting for people to show up. I had a lot on my mind. The weekend prior a friend of mine had tried to commit suicide and had been calling me numerous times. Friends were fighting over a girl and were both asking for my advice and God had put in my path a young man to mentor. This man was a challenge. He was a compulsive liar and made my life very chaotic at times. All this being said I had a full plate of people to help.

As I waited, I noticed two kids in the brush next to my bench. They were standing over a dead black bird poking it with a stick. I quickly asked them to put down the stick and go find their parents. As they left a thought came to my head and said ‘heal the bird.’ I was taken back, I looked over both shoulders to make sure no one was around to hear me and spoke the words ‘Jesus heal this bird.’ I watched. Nothing. Oh well I thought, looked up and my chaotic mentee was coming toward me. He sat down. I looked back at the black bird and to my surprise it was twitching on its back, badly mangled. I informed the compulsive liar what had taken place earlier. What happened next even he couldn’t make up.

Before our very eyes the bird flipped onto its belly, wings spread on the ground and feathers all roughed up. Its eyes were puffy and white. Within 10 minutes we watched the bird reconstruct itself. I remember the last thing I saw as it walked away was its eyes. The white puss filled eyes closed then opened yellow with a black strip down the middle of them. He closed and opened his eyes and they were normal!!

A thought entered my mind, what I know now as the voice of God, “you can’t heal a bird can you? You can’t stop someone from killing themselves can you? You can’t fix people can you? If you want to see some cool stuff, then come for the ride. But it has nothing to do with what you think you can do.”

Let God be God. It’s not about doing for God; it’s about being with God.

Freedom

Jesus has gone down to the lowest quarters of the jail and opened up the door and another prisoner has been released. This sums up my last little healing journey. My experience is that Jesus keeps freeing. I am free, yes, I know that. But Jesus keeps bringing me more freedom as I journey with him.

The latest healing adventure that Jesus took me on was a 2 month ordeal. Near the end of this time and working with a prayer partner God showed me that I was still holding on to some 'legitimacy' baggage. This comes from my adoption and abuse as a young child. As this unfolded God began to show me that I was still trying to prove myself and make sure that those around me knew I belonged on this earth. As I cried out to God to take this burden and asked for his forgiveness He open the door to the cell and gave me a new freedom! Neat-o !!

I'm starting to see a new reality on how God works. It would be all too easy for Him to slam the door shut as I walked out of the jail cell, throw away the key and never return again. I believe the door is still open for me if I choose to return.

A week or so after this new freedom I got a glimpse of going back. My wife and I meet with a newlywed couple once every two weeks and are going through some marriage videos. After dinner I was explaining some differences between men and women. To get my point across I brought it back to Adam and Eve. I stated that when the bible says rib, the original Greek meaning is "a part of" or "side".

The new bride immediately had to check her bible to see if this was true. By no means did she do anything wrong, but what rose up inside of me was shocking. I was angry!!!! "Like seriously... Come on", I thought.

What the enemy was trying to do was to invite me back to the jail cell. This would be just a small step towards it. I am reminded that I DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO PROVE MYSELF.

Today that cell remains empty and the door is still open. Today I have made a choice to stay free and for God to light my path and open my eyes.

I pray that God continues to free and light our paths.

Faithful with a little

Jesus told a story of a businessman who provided three of his employees with some investment money. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then the businessman went on a journey. Two of the employees immediately put their money to work and soon doubled their investments. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.

When the businessman returned from his journey he came to settle the accounts. His response to the two men who invested the money was, ”Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!” Matthew 25:14-30

In the last few years God has opened the door at Jericho Road to start a Discipleship House for men with addiction issues. We began with two men and shared a house with four men with mental illness. We have sown our “talents” and have been faithful with what God gave us and He has grown our ministry. Two years ago we had the opportunity to move from our shared accommodations into a house in the Glebe with 6 beds and one full time staff. Then about a year ago we expanded to another house with the men who have graduated from the discipleship program. Today the Discipleship House has grown into a full-fledged addiction treatment program.

With the approval of the Jericho Board we are now expanding the discipleship program to eleven beds. We have a full time Director for our Addiction Services, an Addictions Counselor, a part time Supervisor and a House Dean. We have moved the Graduate program to another property and are currently painting and making repairs there. These last three years have not been easy, but when I look back I am amazed. This is nothing I could do; it is God and his power to bless those who are faithful!

If you are a supporter of Jericho Road Christian Ministries, I thank you; we would not be here today without you. If you want to join our support team, would you consider sending an email so I can set you up to pray for individual clients? Would you consider donating money to help our program grow? Would you pray for our staff and rest of the ministry and ask God to keep filling our beds?

Thank you for your love and support,

Jon Ruby

Director of Addiction Services

jonnyruby@yahoo.com

Stones

You have received a stone.

Here is the story that goes with your stone.

I was nearing the end of a long term rehab center. I had finished the core program and with 2 weeks left I was in what they called reintegration. Reintegration was a time for a client to plan an exit strategy, housing, schooling, basically planning the next stage of their recovery. I had been, by Gods grace planning to move back home with Vikki and my boys after about a year apart. She was ready to try and make a go of it as she saw my dedication in my recovery, to my family and completion of the treatment center.

At about the same time I finished the core program, this 32 year old mix martial arts fighter named Jason from Winnipeg joined the treatment center. This guy looked tough and I took an immediate liking to him. We would talk about our lives and what got us into trouble. He said he used to be an addiction counselor at a Christian rehab center called Teen Challenge. His girl friend, best friend and now fiancé for 5 years was t-boned by a drunk driver and lost her life. He said he couldn’t handle the pain and started drinking, got fired from his job and was running from his pain. He wound up in Ottawa hitting rock bottom.

I had a lot of spare time in reintegration and had put in a request to spend weekends at our home in Orleans to help out with the kids and to work on re-entering married life. I thought it a reasonable request because there was no program, limited staff and not many of the other clients were around on weekends. The answer was no. I could go every 2^nd weekend. I argued my case but it fell on deaf ears. The next weekend came and full of resentment and the knowledge that I would never get caught and that no one really cared if I went home, I hopped on a bus. The next week on Tuesday night I was called into the office and asked if I had slept out at home, shocked, I lied and straight faced said ‘no, of course not.’ They let me go. I went down to the TV room where I started to vent, basically letting anyone know that I would punch out who ever ratted me out. Apparently the guy that told on me was there and went up to the office and let them know he was scared and that I was intimidating people. I was immediately asked to leave for intimidation. I was shaken, mad, hurt and fear of failure rushed in. I packed my bags, called Vikki and she agreed to let me still move back home.

While I was in the kitchen, waiting for my ride, Jason asked if he could talk to me. I said sure. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stone and placed it in my hand. He told me a story about his fiancé when she was alive. Like any couple they would get into arguments. He said that in the bible it says that if we have no sin or have never done any thing wrong then we could throw stones at others. He said that they were planning on using this concept in their wedding vows and had given each other small stones as a symbol of their vow not to throw stones at each other. He said he wanted me to have the stone she had given him. Tears poured down my face as the emotion of getting kicked out and being given this gift hit me.

Jesus never sinned. Jesus never hurt any one. Jesus never defended himself. As I write this I cry because this is what love is all about. If only we could all put down our rocks, let God defend us and love one another as ourselves. The world, our cities, our marriages and our lives would be much better.

Love Jon Ruby

In honor of Doug.